OH MAN!!

Well for those of you who remember my 'Last Day' post, I mention my enrollment into a new school, St Marys Senior High.

During lunch time today one of my friends tells me that she had been accepted into the school which i had hoping to be aswell. I asked her how she knew that and she replies that her mother was at home and they had send the letter in the mail. this just got me all excited and nervous and anxious until i got home. Up to this point i had been pretty confident with my application. Sure i wasn't the best student in my school but i was up there. During our career interviews we had about our futures one of the teachers said that she thinks that i would get in for sure so there i was all smug. Also my sister had attended this school in the last 2 years and was a stand out student, so maybe that was going to help me. So after hearing the news about my friend i congradulate her and get back to playing back to playing basketball, to which i totally pwned :p.
The lessons during they day we totally awesome. We had a role play lesson in which me and my friends were the best in.lol. seriously we should make our own tv show or something were that good.

So i arrive home after school and my legs are absoloutely spent after sport. I could hardly walk. I take a peek into my mail box and its flooded with letters. This is where i start getting nervous. The first letter was some stupid bank one adressed to my Dad. I flick it to the bottom. Next was the same letter from the same stupid bank but this time adressed to my mother T_T. I then anxiously flick it to the back. Then low and behold, what ive been waiting for, a letter adressed to me. I start to get really nervous and think about what this means. The immense pressure coming from my family. I playback previous conversations, 'you ABSOLOUTELY MUST get into this school', and my friends, they had all applied and i wondered what would happen if they all got accepted and i was the only one left out. There i was, i wouldnt exactly say i had the worlds weight on my shoulders but it was pretty close. Too nervous I text message my friend first and tell him im about to open it. Out of hesitation i tear it open. I start reading. To my utter disbelief the letter read 'Unfortunately I must inform you....' as this point i knew that i had been unsucessful but refused to believe what had come. I kept reading in some hope that they had made a mistake some where. ' inform you that we are not in a position to offer you a 2009 place at this time'. My heart sank. It goes on to read about how there was such a quality of enrollments and that i should not let this affect me personally + i can send in some bull of a form so they can reconsider me if any spots open up. I ring my friend and tell him that i hadn't made it, my throat was all effed up. He tells me that he hadn't made it either. This was kinf of bitter sweet because i was sad for him that he hadn't made it but happy because we would probably be attending the same school now and keep being 'bros'. My other friend of 8 years, she has made it in, i feel happy for her. And another of my friends also female makes it in. Im starting to see a kind of trend forming here, but that was jsut an excuse i was making up. The more i thought about it the sadder and angrier i got. That sadness and anger soon turned to a slight depression.
Then not being able to log onto blog spot and vent my feelings made the anger come back!!! But then i jsut forgot about it. I thought to myself ' hey life goes on, this isnt the worst thing that has every happend to you'. Then i tought back to all the times i've really wanted something. Not material things like a little kid, but things that are important and i thoguht how many times have i actually been good enough to myself to reward myself with sucesss. One.... One times out of countless. This was the point where i thought to myself that i was digging my self a hole and that i was selling my self short. I could do so much better. I vowled to get 100% in my upcoming maths test to prove something to myself that i CAN do it. Being accepted into the school would of made my weekend. I was going to go out to the local festival with a very good friend of mine that i had actually never really med in person properly yet and she isnt messaging me back. Seems like a lonely weekend for me.

Yeah so have a good weekend. byee.

- Kevin